Not sure how long ago you tried installing linux, but it has come a long way such that there are distros out there that are basically plug-and-play installable now. I installed Linux Mint on an old laptop and just went through the gui installer like you would on a Windows installation, and it was up and running. Didn’t need to open the terminal even once.
Do you have grocery delivery in your area? If she isn’t picky with the brand of pizza, maybe a $6 frozen pizza heated in the oven would be an alternative. Not sure if you have to tip, I haven’t tried it myself.